Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I'm not pregnant and that's ok.

So many people, people I know in real life as well as people I know of on the internet via their blog or twitter, are either pregnant or recently were pregnant and now have adorable, sqishy newborns. I am not pregnant, nor do I have an adorable, sqishy newborn. There is some part of me, my ovaries or my hormones or something, that is screaming about how I should get pregnant ASAP. It's screaming about how cute newborns are and I should get on it. It's screaming about how the longer I wait to have a second child, the higher the chances are that Grace will wean herself before then and my small desire to tandem nurse will be crushed.

The other part of me, the rational and thoughtful part of me (not to say that people who want more children are irrational, just that the part of me that wants more children RIGHT NOW is irrational), knows that it will be ok to wait to have another baby. It knows the reality of what my days and nights with Grace look like. It knows that Grace still nurses three or four times a day so there's still a possibility that she won't wean before I have a second baby. This part of me also acknowledges that it would also be ok if she weaned before I have a second baby. This part of me knows that my days of having a baby aren't numbered but even if they are, even if I can't have any other children grow inside my body, there are other ways of growing our family. 

So there you have it. I'm not pregnant and that's ok.

1 comment:

  1. Blogger just ate my comment. PITA. Long story short- nursing during pregnancy was not awesome for us, and I feel sad that my little girl weaned as early as she did (18 months old,during my first trimester), even though I facilitated it (because I could not deal with dry nursing, tantrums over no milk at bedtime and the amount of discomfort involved). I do think tandem nursing is totally doable, if you are committed, but I don't think it always an easy road. They really are still such babies at this age, and I think there are real benefits to waiting. I am of course overjoyed that we are expanding our family, and I think it will be tons of fun for them to grow up together, but I also feel sad that she is losing out on time as my only baby, when she is till so little and dependent. It will be great whenever and however it happens for you guys. And in my experience the desire to reproduce is never rational, we just do our best to make good decisions in spite of that :-P