Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I won't judge you if you don't judge me.

There are a bunch of blog posts and metafilter posts that I've been reading lately that address a similar theme: different lives are different so it's incredibly difficult if not impossible to impose your method onto someone else's situation. Whether it's parenting decisions, health/food decisions, anything. One person's magical miracle cure is another's "been there, done that, didn't work". So why do people feel like their imposition is the exception and that it's ok?

It's too easy, sometimes, to hear someone's different choices and feel that they are judging you by choosing something different than you chose. It's also too easy to describe your choices in such a way that they might sound judgmental. I know that I feel I have to preface anything I express about parenting with the disclaimer of "this is what I've found works or doesn't work for me or what I've tried and YMMV".

Here is my disclaimer for this blog: I am writing about what I've researched, what I've tried and what I feel is right for me, my daughter, my family. My choices are in no way a judgement of your choices. If I ask you questions about your choices, I really am genuinely curious about how you arrived at your decisions so I can incorporate that thought process into my own. I will try as much as I can to use non-judgmental language.

I really do want to learn more and I really do just love hearing about and talking about pregnancy, parenting, babies, etc. I am in no way an expert in any of those types of topics. One of the reasons I started this blog is to investigate what I know, put that out there and hopefully hear other people's experiences, research, thoughts, whatever. I do understand that that can't happen if I don't post, so I'll get on that.

1 comment:

  1. I have been avoiding posting an entry in my blog lately because I've had one topic on my mind that I can't make public. There is a member of my new extended family who seems to feel that my wife and I don't know how to parent our child. It's not malicious in any way and she has the best of intentions, but advice that is unasked for is just that.

    I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep from flipping out when this person is around and my self-control is starting to be perceived as rudeness to the point where this person may be starting to think that I'm secretly beating my wife and child out of brooding anger.

    Why is so difficult to tell people "Thank you very much, but I'm not looking for input right now."

    On that note, I like your blog very much and I think you should keep up the good work.

    But then again, you didn't ask what I thought...